


The Talks You Never Had

by sad_soulful_and_sleepyheaded



Category: Spring Awakening - Sheik/Sater
Genre: (that's really how you spell that???), Angst, Gen, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Melchritz if you squint, One Shot, Suicidal Thoughts, seriously who let me get my grubby little hands on it, warning: abuse of the italics button
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:47:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29541186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sad_soulful_and_sleepyheaded/pseuds/sad_soulful_and_sleepyheaded
Summary: "The woods are lovely, dark and deep,But I have promises to keep,And miles to go before I sleep,And miles to go before I sleep."- Robert Frost, “Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening”Or, instead of Ilse, Moritz meets Melchior in the woods.
Relationships: Melchior Gabor & Moritz Stiefel
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	The Talks You Never Had

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I've basically never written any fanfiction before, but I had a bit of an oopsie and decided to project onto Moritz. This is a pretty shitty stream of consciousness that I started writing in the middle of a breakdown and finished writing the following morning. Since I'm projecting, some stuff may be a little OOC. If you think so, let me know! Constructive criticism is both asked for and appreciated because, again, I don't know what I'm doing. If any of you are like "Wait, but Melchior and Moritz can't meet in the woods because Melchior was busy doing shitty and questionable things in a hayloft!" just know that I know that but have decided that the hayloft thing never happened. Melchior goes to the woods to think instead I guess. This isn't school, I do what I want, I pick and choose canon, etc. Sorry for making so much of this dialogue. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> (Special thanks to my friend J, who proofread this and also puts up with my bullshit, God rest their soul)

Moritz had been walking around the woods for what felt like a lifetime. He had no plan for where he was going, he just needed to go. He had failed, he had faced the consequences, and now he realized the truth. There was no way out. He was trapped.

His father's gun was a heavy weight in his pocket. It was the easy way out, but maybe it would be worth it. Maybe things would be better away from here.

Moritz took the gun out of his pocket. There was nowhere to go but here. All roads ended here.

"Moritz?" A voice broke through his thoughts, startling him. He dropped the gun.

"Melchior? What are you doing here?"

Melchior shrugged. "Avoiding Wendla mostly. We had an, an encounter, shall we say, and it didn't end well."

"What do you mean, you 'had an _encounter_ '??"

"I _mean_ that Wendla asked me to beat her, and I did. It revealed something unpleasant in me. I— I don't want to be like that Moritz." Melchior looked disquieted. It was an unusual expression on someone so confident.

"Melchi—"

"I don't want to be like Herr Sonnenstitch, or Martha's father, or your father even!"

"My father?"

"Yes, your father. He _hits_ you Moritz. Those in power, they're always ready to hurt us. Disciplining a child like this, like they do, like your father does, it's not _right_. It's just another means of control. Just another way to get us to fall in line, _to conform_."

"But, Melchi, if you don't discipline a child, you don't love it!"

"Well surely there are better ways to discipline them than _this_!"

"You truly believe that? That there are other ways?" The thought had never occurred to Moritz, beyond the obvious wish for parents and teachers alike to not strike him. Could there truly be an alternative?

"I do." Melchior had suddenly gone quiet. It seemed that his impassioned stance had left him introspective. He paused.

"Moritz, what are you doing here?" Ah. The question Moritz was hoping to avoid.

"I'm just — walking. Wandering really."

"Moritz, no one has seen you all day."

"Maybe wandering takes time Melchior. You're not the only person in the world capable of thought." A silence. "I'm sorry, that was more rude than I intended."

"Moritz. What are you doing here, truthfully?"

Moritz had a choice. Tell the truth, or lie and be left alone. If Melchior left him alone, he could do what he set out to accomplish.

"Wandering, really. That is all."

Melchior did not look convinced.

"Are you out here because of what happened? You know that it wasn't your fault. The issue with the parentocracy is that they view us as raw material. They think we need to be improved, and if we cannot be improved, we are weak. If we are weak, we must be weeded out."

"Melchior. You don't _understand_. You've never had to work hard for grades. You just coast through school. I'm not like that. Not everything's about the fucking _parentocracy_. It's not always about your activism, your 'advanced thought'."

"Moritz—"

"No! _No_ , okay, let me say my piece! This is not about you. This is about me. Me and my own fucking _stupidity_. I never got the hang of things, and now I'm being left behind, in the dust, where I belong. The 'parentocracy' perceived me as weak, and you know what? They're _right_."

Moritz began to shake slightly.

"I feel insane Melchi. Do you understand that!? _Insane_." Moritz ran a hand through his hair. "I need to be kept away. Locked in a padded room until I work again. Until I can function. I can't fucking do it on my own. I have to be forced to stay. Otherwise I won't stay at all." He paused and took a shaky breath.

"Do you really want to know why I am here in the woods? Truly? Or would you rather be able to feign ignorance when it happens?"

"When what happens Moritz?" It was obvious Melchior did not need clarification. He just didn't want to believe it.

"When I join the angels Melchi."

" _Moritz_."

" _Melchi_." Moritz mocked bitterly. "Just because you think the so-called parentocracy is wrong doesn't mean they are. I'm a failure Melchior. There's nowhere to go. I failed at school, just like I fail at everything else. They were right."

"They're not! You can't seriously believe this Moritz. You didn't fail, they failed you."

Moritz smiled softly. "You may think that, but it isn't true. I never could meet their standards Melchi, no matter how hard I tried. You have to let me do this. For me, if nothing else." Moritz turned to pick up the gun and started to walk away.

"Moritz, wait!" Moritz stopped and turned.

"What, Melchi?"

"Stay? At least for a little bit. Please."

"Melchi… you know I can't."

"It doesn't have to be forever." Melchior paused. He was not above begging Moritz to stay. He would do anything to make him stay, _anything_. Whatever it took. "Stay until nightfall? Just us. We don't even have to talk! We can just sit here, under this tree."

Moritz sighed.

"For my peace of mind, if nothing else? If you truly must join the angels, I want, no, I _need_ to know that I did my best to stop you. That I—" Melchior took a sharp breath. He was close to tears. "That I tried Moritz. That I tried to stop you."

Melchior scrubbed at his eyes. His attempts to keep it together were quickly failing. "If you truly want to join the angels, I will not stop you. But I will stay here, with you. If you must— if you must die, then I must be at your side."

"Melchior, I would not wish that on anyone. Why do you insist on staying, on doing these things for me?"

"Because you're my friend. Because those foul people back at school, back in town, thought you were expendable, but you're _not_. Not to me." Melchior sat down under the tree.

"Come and sit, I'll wait until sunrise with you if I have to."

Moritz thought about it. He had a choice.

If he needed to, until sunrise wasn't forever.

He sat down.


End file.
